Welcome, Everyone!

Hi there! I’m TheJess and welcome to my blog! I’m actually excited to be starting this one, as I hope to change a few lives with it, including my own. I basically decided to start this because of my rough start at University. I’m now in my second year and much happier and settled, but I thought it might be a good idea for people, particularly students aged 18+ who are just starting out, to read about a few of my experiences, and how to deal with moving away from home etc.

I searched the web countless times in my short build-up to Uni and couldn’t find anything that could mentally prepare me for moving over an hour away from home to Halls of Residence. It doesn’t sound like much, but if you don’t move to halls with a group of already established friends, and you are not a complete socialite, then you will be lonely. It is hard to talk to people, even the people you are sharing your kitchen and bathroom with. In fact, that’s possibly the hardest bit. You don’t know these people and they don’t know you. They might have friends with them, or have already made friends with other flatmates, and people with so many clashing interests can cause absolute havoc in a flat.

In my first year, my flat consisted of loners. There was one guy I was on decent terms with, but I didn’t have the courage to be better friends with him, a girl from my primary school lived in the next room to me. That didn’t make things any more comfortable, she wasn’t my friend back then, what was going to change about that now? There were several others I didn’t see most of the year, and then there were the German students…I have nothing against international students at all, it turned out in the end these guys were really friendly, but formidable. They were terrifying to approach for some reason. Just getting to the kitchen to make some dinner has honed my listening and sneaking skills to ninja-level. There was a group of them and one little me, and my own lack of confidence ruined my year.

In fact, I didn’t even make it to the end of the academic year. I had to move back home with severe depression and anxiety issues. I couldn’t talk to anyone in my flat, I felt like I was confined to the walls of my tiny study room, and even that was little comfort. My only escapes were class or work, in both situations I made friends, because everyone was more…accomodating. I couldn’t believe how friendly and talkative everyone was, and it was because we all knew we had to work together, so there was no point in causing rifts, despite all our differences, and believe me, there were a lot, we all managed to have a laugh. Why couldn’t that be brought back to the flat? We all had to live together, surely that’s more intense than working together, and requires a lot more patience and effort, but it seems my own lack of communicative skills took over when I could easily just avoid everyone. Well, I thought it was easy, it actually resulted in me being very sick but this is my point; you need to have some confidence, and be prepared and willing to talk to people even after the initial introductions. Find out what people’s interests and hobbies are and you might find some common ground, whether it’s World of Warcraft, Rock Band or fishing, share one of your comforts with someone who feels the same. If not, you can always ask to move to a different flat.

Over the coming months and beyond, I intend to write articles about various aspects of student life, the important bits, that include looking after yourself, budgeting and keeping yourself at peak physical health and happiness so you’ll be able to work hard and get that degree at the end. After all, going to University and being a student is NOT about drinking yourself into a stupor every night and throwing away your maintenance loan on booze and cakes from Sainsburys.

I can’t stand when people automatically assume ’student’ means ‘alcoholic-in-training’. If you like having a drink, and you find clubs a great way to socialize and unwind after a week’s lectures, that’s fine, but I’ve seen so many idiot students ruin themselves at a critical point in their lives instead of grabbing life by the throat and making the very most out of this very expensive opportunity. Being clever about your time at Uni is a must. I didn’t know what I was doing when I applied, my first year was a complete muddle, but I’m starting to get back on track, so whether I do things right from here on in, or make some epic mistakes, hopefully someone out there will be able to find some value in my articles and make the very most of their University experience.



I wish you all the best for 2010 and beyond!

TheJess89